Simon woke with a scuttling, scratching sound close to his ear. He groaned and moved his head to get a better look at what it was.
It was a small tan scorpian.
It was poised to sting and its pincers were ready to snap at whatever they could get a hold of. To Simon this looked like the most abominable thing that could ever dare to poke its atrocious face out into the daylight. Simon yelped and jumped up, gathered more lightning than was absolutely necessary, and shot it at the poor beast.
To make a long story short, the crater was a lot more comfortable than the solid ground, and the thunder made the local pests decide that whatever was near that area wasn't to be messed with. The night passed without further incident.
By morning he felr refreshed and full of energy. He crawled out from the crater and his mood turned sour as he gazed out among the countless sand dunes. He sighed and stomped out across the sand. He passed by many skeletons of fish (which he decided to stop arguing with, they were horrible listeners, and they refused to see his logic. So he just contented himself with the idea that he was right.) and by many cacti, rocks, and more sand. How the hell do they expect either one of us to find the teleporter in such a vast area? Its like trying to find a needle in a heysta- OUCH! At that moment he ironically stepped on a cactus needle, when at that time no cacti were around. In the back of his mind he thought this was odd, but for the most part he was just mad at the needle as he pulled it out.
There is something decidedly wrong with the universe. Simon theorized, and continued to trudge on.
Unfortunately the theory became a law.
Simon stopped and just stared at it for five minutes, with a perplexed look on his face. He turned his head side to side and rubbed his eyes. He pinched himself and rubbed his eyes. He also went through a mental checklist of what he ate yesterday, looking for mushrooms in particular. He couldn't remember seeing any, let alone eating any, and no matter how many times he turned his head, pinched himself, or just stood there did it ever change.
It was a house.
Made of the bones of a particularly large skeleton. This is not what promoted the theory into a law, however. The reason was: a large colony of fire ants just crawled onto his leg. They all decided to bite just when he decided that maybe this place wasn't so bad after all. Simon yelled in pain and shook/brushed all of them off. He then proceeded to destroy all that he could find.
"Why the hell are there so many damn bugs?!?" Muttered Simon under his breath, "Its a desert! Nothing should live here, it's too hot!"
Simon did his best to ignore the fact that the house that he was walking towards contradicted his statement. When he reached the house he tested the doorknob, finding that it was unlocked.
"Well, I'll just let myself in then." Simon announced as he did so.
When he entered he fell to his knees, and became very emotional. The house was air conditioned. It is said that from this point on he praised the Lord and became a priest at a local place of worship. However, this is just rumor and did not actually happen.
After he was done admiring the luxury that was once taken for granted he decided to explore the rest of the house. It was a fairly simple house, one bedroom, one bathroom, and a kitchen/living-room. The extraordinary thing about it was that it was all made from bone, the furniture, walls, ceiling, appliances, and even the silverware. He opened a large rectangular box that looked like a fridge, and it happened to be a fully functional fridge. He operated what appeared to be as sink and jumped, not because of the fact that it was a sink, but that it was functional. He took a cup from the cupboard and drank several glasses of the water. The cool, wet, refreshing water. Afterwords he went into the bedroom for a well deserved nap.